One of the adjustments that happens with a relocation, typically to the trailing spouse, is having whole days full of nothing to do. It's almost like early retirement!
Though the idea of having tons of time to do whatever you want may have you salivating, when you're used to a routine full of working, or planned activities, you may be caught off guard at how unpleasant this can actually be.
Say you work in a corporate job, 40 hours a week, take a cooking class twice a month, volunteer at a charity every two months, and go to the gym four times a week. Now, suppose you relocate with your spouse, who has been assigned to a new place, and you have to give up your job, and have no concrete replacement lined up, or perhaps you've gone to a new country and aren't able to work. So, boom, welcome to Nothingville.
There's no gym anywhere near you. Your spouse needs the car to get to and from work, and you have absolutely no idea what activities are available, or where to look. Maybe you do some sightseeing, and after a few days of that, you're bored. Perhaps you start making dinner for your spouse every night, rather than just special occasions, and realize you're becoming domesticated, something you never thought you'd do. Even when your spouse is home, the two of you aren't sure what activities exist to do as a couple, and so you end up frustrated and dissatisfied, and having another day tomorrow full of nothing to do.
So, how do you turn Nothingville and into Activity Ville? Here are a few tips -
1 - Find a local tourist office and community center. Either research online, or, if you have the ability to visit in person, get brochures, or contact them on the phone and ask about all the local sites, and whether they are familiar to any activity centers they can refer you to. Even if you're not a tourist, it pays to find out the local sites considered worth visiting - you get a new place to discover, and a built in activity in the process.
2- Contact the local Chamber of Commerce. if you've moved from another country, look for the one representing your home country. i.e. - if you moved from America, look for the US Chamber of Commerce - again, look online, or in town. Find out what events they put on. Typically, you can become a member and participate in ongoing panels of interest to the local community, as well as go to parties that may be something you can do with your spouse.
3 - Ask for tips at work. The working spouse should consider colleagues as a wonderful resource to ask about local activities - both for the trailing spouse to do during the day, and for you to do as a couple evenings and weekends. Take a class. Look for local universities and town halls. Adult Continuing education classes are a wonderful activity to do in a new country. First, you can learn a new skill since you have all that time in front of you. Second, it gets you out and meeting new people, who, again, might be an excellent resource when it comes to learning about other activities. These classes can typically be found at a local university, or a town hall or recreation center, depending on what city or country you are living in.
4 - Volunteer. If you can't get paid for work, find volunteer activities with local charities. If you can't find one, see if you can make one. Research businesses that interest you, contact them and ask if you can volunteer your time there.
5 - Exercise. Go for a walk. Especially if you used to go to the gym, and there isn't one nearby, try walking both for exercise, and for exploration. (Do make sure you're familiar with areas considered dangerous so you can avoid them.) Of course, if you're near a gym, then make sure to sign up and get yourself there regularly if this is something important to your happiness.
6 - Join an Expat community. Often, these exist on Facebook or LinkedIn. You can just research "Expat in XXX" (replace XXX with the name of your host country). These groups tend to have regular meetups you can attend. Another way to meet more people, and ask more questions!
If you like these tips, and want to learn other ways to prepare for a successful transition to a new culture, and get some helpful tracking sheets, please download my "8 Steps to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World" eCourse.
Heather is a Culture Transition Specialist. She works with Expatriates (anyone that relocates to a new city or country for work) and their families to handle the social, personal, and professional challenges that arise after relocating to a new city or country.
Learn more at http://www.culturetransition.com where you can get a free report with more useful tips, and a free affirmation mp3 file to encourage you along the process!
You can access my eCourse "8 Steps to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World" at http://www.8stepstofeelathome.com - a $19.97 value
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